I'm slowly hurting myself...day by day

Hello....Today I had medical health check-up in school and I thought there was gonna be an injection..but it was all fraud just to make me scared...hahahax...never mind...

But this isn't what I wanna talk about.

What I wanna say is that after I've made up my mind and decided that I wanna the decision plot to go on...
I've realize that instead I thought that I would hurt no one including me,I've really hurt myself more deeply...each day as time passes by me....each night before I sleep,I would cry and pray that everything would resolve quick but it seems that its gonna be a never-ending pain unless I did of the unbelievable which I would not tell it over here....I've confess to some of my friends...
but it doesn't lighten up much of the pain I'm going through....I just hope that my life is taken away by God right now...soo I no longer have to suffer this pain....its soo painful that I think I couldn't bear it no more...

Everywhere to me seems to look like hell to me except for my home...which is like heaven...

Okay enough....I'm tearing down now...my emotional rate is soo gloomy even if I look happy in every people eyes...but no one knows...that inside me...I'm not the person that they see....

am I a heartless person...that I don't even care about others...

I'm like living in a world that is soo cold that I can't find my clothes or at least something to make me warm...

Every night...before I sleep...I would quietly cry and I hope that when I woke up the next morning,I'm okay but I know that its not...


Till Here....
I hope it would not end....


Yours Truly,
MZeee